Marriage is Work: Here’s How to Make it Worth it

Looking to make your marriage truly worth it? Find out why marriage is work and uncover practical tips on how to navigate through the ups and downs. Say goodbye to cookie-cutter advice and embrace a casual yet effective approach that will strengthen your bond. Let’s dive in!

marriage is work

What does it mean that marriage is work?

Marriage requires effort, commitment, and constant communication if you want to maintain a strong and healthy relationship. That’s why so many people say that marriage is work.

Marriage is not just a fairytale romance or a smooth sailing journey. In today’s world, where everything seems to be moving at a fast pace and distractions are abundant, marriage has become harder than ever before. The daily stresses and responsibilities can take a toll on the relationship, making it feel like a constant uphill battle.

But despite the challenges, marriage is worth fighting for. It is an opportunity to grow together, to build a life with someone you love, and to create a bond that can withstand the tests of time.

Marriage is hard work. It requires you to put in the time and energy to nurture your relationship, to understand and support each other, and to work through the inevitable conflicts that arise. It means:

  • Being willing to let go of your ego and prioritize the happiness and well-being of your partner
  • Being patient and forgiving, even when things get tough
  • Making a conscious effort to keep the spark alive and continually invest in your connection

Despite the challenges, when both partners are committed to making the marriage work, the rewards can be immense. The depth of love, the sense of companionship, and the shared experiences can bring immense joy and fulfillment. It’s not always easy, but it is undoubtedly worth it.

couple thinking "marriage is hard but worth it"

Marriage is hard for everyone

Marriage is not an easy feat, and it certainly doesn’t come with a guarantee of smooth sailing for anyone. It’s a journey filled with challenges, ups and downs, and a continuous effort to make it work.

As the saying goes, “Marriage is not 50 50, it’s 100 100.” This means that both partners need to invest their whole selves into the relationship, giving it their all. It’s not about keeping score or expecting a perfect balance. It’s about continuously showing up, supporting each other, and working together to overcome obstacles.

In the midst of the struggles, it’s important to remember that marriage takes work. It may not always be glamorous or easy, but it can be incredibly rewarding.

Marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs, and one thing is certain – it requires effort. Perhaps you’ve heard people say, “marriage is too much work,” and there is some truth to that. Maintaining a strong and healthy relationship takes dedication and commitment from both partners. It’s not always smooth sailing, and there will be times when challenges arise.

However, it’s important to remember that you are not alone in this journey. Many couples face similar struggles, and by recognizing that marriage is a lot of work, you can be reassured that your experiences are not unusual.

couple thinking "marriage is work but worth it"

Why marriage is harder than ever

Increased expectations, societal pressures, financial stresses, and the fast-paced modern lifestyle has made marriage harder than ever. It often leaves little time for nurturing the relationship.

Marriage has always been a journey full of ups and downs. But in today’s fast-paced and demanding world, it seems that the challenges have intensified. With increasing societal pressures, economic strains, and the constant distractions of technology, marriage seems to be more difficult now.

In order to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship, both partners need to recognize that marriage takes work. It requires a continuous effort to communicate effectively, compromise, and nurture the connection. It’s not always easy, and there will inevitably be disagreements and moments of frustration.

Yet, when both individuals are committed to putting in the effort, the rewards can be extraordinary. Through shared experiences, personal growth, and the deep emotional connection that evolves over time, marriage can become a source of immense happiness and fulfillment.

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Is marriage supposed to be work?

Yes, marriage is supposed to be work! Just like any worthwhile endeavor, it requires investment and effort to keep the relationship strong and thriving.

Marriage is a beautiful union between two people, but that doesn’t mean it comes without its challenges. In fact, many would argue that marriage is supposed to be work. Why? Because marriage is hard, but divorce is harder. It’s the commitment to continually work on the relationship that can make all the difference.

Marriage is a work in progress. It’s a constant journey of growth, compromise, and understanding. There will be ups and downs, disagreements and misunderstandings, but it’s through these challenges that we learn and strengthen our bond. It’s in the commitment to work through the tough times that we can truly find the joy and fulfillment in our marriage.

As the old saying goes, “Anything worth having is worth working for,” and this certainly applies to marriage. It’s the willingness to put in the effort, to prioritize the relationship, and to continually nurture the love that can help couples weather any storm. So yes, marriage is supposed to be work, but the rewards of a strong and lasting partnership are immeasurable.

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Reasons why marriage is work

Here are 5 reasons why marriage is work:


One reason why marriage is work is the constant need for effective communication. As individuals, we have our own unique perspectives, opinions, and ways of expressing ourselves. In a marriage, it’s crucial to find ways to communicate openly and honestly with our partners.

It takes time and practice to understand each other’s needs and desires, and it requires patience to navigate through disagreements and conflicts. Building strong communication skills not only strengthens the bond between partners but also fosters mutual understanding and respect.

Here are signs the communication in your marriage is not being effective.


It’s hard to compromise. In marriage, you have a lot of opportunities to butt heads with your spouse.

The key is finding a middle ground that honors both partners’ needs. Compromise involves active listening, being open-minded, and seeking solutions that work for both individuals. It requires a willingness to let go of the need to always be right or have things go your way, and instead, focus on what will benefit the partnership as a whole.

By embracing compromise, couples can create an environment of cooperation and mutual respect, allowing their love to flourish. Your marriage will never grow if you aren’t willing to give in sometimes. You need to put your pride and feelings aside for the sake of your marriage.

couple showing that marriage is hard work but it's worth it

Resolving conflicts

Conflict resolution in marriage can be difficult. The longer you’ve been together, the more hurt feelings can accumulate if you’re not careful.

Married couples need to work on resolving conflict in a loving way. Let’s face it: conflict comes up a lot throughout the course of a marriage.

Did you know that conflict in a marriage is actually healthy? What truly matters is how you handle issues with your spouse. You can use them to grow your bond and learn more about each other if you do it right.

If you don’t want to end up resenting your spouse, you need to learn healthy conflict resolution strategies for your marriage.

Understanding and supporting each other’s needs

How is your husband doing? What support does your wife need?

How quickly can you answer these types of questions about your spouse? Do you know what your spouse is going through? You need to first understand what your spouse needs. It’s just as important to support your spouse and help them fill these needs.

Since having kids, Josh and I have talked about this a lot. We check in with each other to see how we are doing. One thing we’ve noticed is that we both need time away from the kids to decompress.

So each week, we give each other a few hours without the kids. It gives us the opportunity to do things we enjoy doing. With 2 young kids, it can be hard to prioritize ourselves.

Supporting each other’s needs to have time away from the kids has been so healthy for our marriage. It’s allowed us to be less stressed and more patient with each other and the kids.

Continuously working on emotional connection

It’s easy to fall into a routine of work, the kids, and taking care of the house. Let’s face it: there’s a lot on your to do list!

But if you’re not careful, you can fall into the roommate phase of marriage. This comes from a lack of emotional connection. It’s something that you need to continuously work on to grow your marriage.

There are signs when your marriage is lacking in emotional intimacy. If you’re ready to work on this, you’ll love this post on how to improve the emotional intimacy in your marriage.

couple thinking, "marriage is hard but worth it"

Marriage is hard but worth it

Marriage is hard, there’s no denying that. It requires constant effort, patience, and compromise.

As the saying goes, “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” This quote reminds us that the challenges we face in marriage are what make it worth fighting for.

It’s through these difficulties that we grow as individuals and as a couple. So, even when the road gets tough, remember that the hard work you put into your marriage is not in vain.

There will be days when you question if all the effort is worth it. But trust me, it is. It’s in those small gestures, acts of love, and moments of vulnerability that we find the true beauty of marriage. Yes, marriage is hard, but the reward of a deep connection, shared happiness, and a lifelong partner is worth every bit of the work.

A note about marriage after kids

Kids add a whole new layer to the notion of “marriage is work”. All of a sudden, you don’t have the time you used to for your spouse. You have to become a lot more intentional about connecting together.

But the work and effort you put into your marriage is worth it. And your kids will see it too. They’ll grow up seeing what a healthy relationship looks like. You’ll be modeling how to handle conflict and appreciate your spouse.

marriage takes work quotes

Is marriage worth the hard work?

Absolutely! While marriage can be challenging at times, the rewards of a happy and fulfilling partnership outweigh the difficulties.

Prioritizing your marriage and putting the work into it to make it amazing will also teach your kids how to have a healthy relationship.

How to make the work worth it!

Making a marriage work requires effort and dedication. Although marriage is hard, the rewards can far outweigh the challenges.

To make the work worth it, it’s important to prioritize open communication and active listening. Embracing and appreciating each other’s strengths and weaknesses can help create a stronger connection.

Additionally, investing time and effort into activities that bring joy and laughter into the relationship can foster happiness and reduce stress. As the adage goes, “Laughter is the closest distance between two people.” So, let humor be a glue that holds your marriage together.

You can make the work in marriage worth it by:

  • Prioritizing your relationship
  • Investing time and effort into strengthening the bond
  • Regularly expressing love and appreciation
  • Seeking professional help if needed
  • Never taking each other for granted
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The rewarding side of all this work

The rewarding side of all this work can be found in the deep connection and bond that is created in a marriage.

It is true, marriage is hard, but so is divorce. By committing to the work and challenges that come along the way, couples have the opportunity to grow together and build a love that is unbreakable.

In the process of working through the difficulties, marriages have the potential to become stronger than ever before. It is in the moments of struggle that couples have the chance to rediscover their love and commitment, reaffirming their dedication to one another. The reward lies in the journey of overcoming obstacles together, knowing that the love you have nurtured is resilient and capable of withstanding any storm.

Here are only some the rewards of working hard for your marriage:

  • A deep emotional connection
  • Companionship
  • Support
  • Love
  • Shared experiences that come from building a life together with your spouse
couple thinking "marriage takes work"

Marriage is work quotes

Here are a few quotes that remind us that marriage requires effort and dedication:

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”

Dave Meurer

This quote highlights the importance of embracing the unique qualities and quirks that each partner brings to a marriage. It reminds us that working through differences and finding joy in those disparities is what makes a marriage strong.

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever.”

Nicholas Sparks

Nicholas Sparks captures the essence of a fulfilling marriage in this quote. It expresses the idea that love is not always easy, but when it ignites our souls and brings us inner peace, it becomes a remarkable journey worth pursuing.

“A great marriage doesn’t happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue building love until the end.”


This reminds us that love is not solely a feeling but an action, requiring effort and dedication. When both partners are willing to put in the work, communicate openly, and prioritize their relationship, they create a foundation upon which love can flourish and grow.

“The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little extra every day.”


This insightful quote reminds us that going the extra mile for our partner can make all the difference.

“The best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.”


This quote reminds us that while marriage is work, it is worth it because it allows us to build a deep bond and experience unconditional love.

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

Mignon McLaughlin

“Marriage is like a dance, sometimes joyful and effortless, other times challenging and tiring, but always worth the effort.”


All of these quotes remind us that marriage is a continuous learning process that requires effort, understanding, and appreciation for each other’s individuality.

couple thinking "marriage is hard work but worth it"

Marriage is hard work quotes

Marriage can sometimes feel like a never-ending rollercoaster ride, full of ups and downs. It’s during those challenging times that we often need words of encouragement to remind us that we’re not alone in this journey. Here are a few inspiring quotes that speak to the truth that marriage is hard work, but it’s a labor of love that is worth preserving.

“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get, it’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”

Barbara De Angelis

These wise words from Barbara De Angelis remind us that marriage is not just a label or a state of being. Rather, it requires constant effort and actions that demonstrate our love and commitment to our spouse.

“Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story.”

Jennifer Smith

“The best marriages are built on teamwork, mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.”

Fawn Weaver
couple thinking "marriage is not 50 50"

Marriage is easy quotes

Marriage is supposed to be easy, or so they say. But in reality, it takes patience, effort, and a lot of work to make it successful. However, amidst the challenges, there are moments of ease that provide a glimmer of hope.

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”


This highlights the importance of continuously choosing your partner and nurturing the love that brought you together in the first place. It reminds us that even though marriage may require work, it is worth it when you are committed to growing together as a couple.

“Marriage is not just about finding the right person, but being the right person.”


This emphasizes the need for self-reflection and personal growth within a marriage. It reminds us that the key to a fulfilling partnership lies not only in finding the perfect match but also in continually working on ourselves to become better individuals.

This quote serves as a gentle reminder that both partners have a role to play in making the relationship flourish, and the effort put in will yield rewarding results.

“Marriage is not supposed to be easy, it’s supposed to be worth it.”


“Marriage is the constant effort to outdo each other in love and support.”

marriage is work

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the 5 C’s in marriage?

The 5 C’s in marriage are:

  • Communication
  • Compromise
  • Commitment
  • Compassion
  • Companionship

These elements are essential for a successful and fulfilling partnership.

When it comes to building a strong and fulfilling marriage, there are several key elements that play a crucial role. These are often referred to as the 5 C’s of marriage.

What is the #1 rule of marriage?

It’s often said that marriage doesn’t come with a rulebook, but if there is one golden rule that stands out, it would be this: communication. Effective and open communication is the backbone of any successful marriage. Without it, misunderstandings can fester and resentment can build.

When partners are able to honestly express their thoughts, feelings, and needs, they create a solid foundation for understanding and growth. Genuine communication fosters trust, empathy, and intimacy, making it easier to navigate through the ups and downs of married life.

Final thoughts: marriage is work but it’s worth it

In the face of challenges, remember that the work you put into your marriage is an investment in a fulfilling and lasting partnership.

It’s not always easy, but the investment we make in our relationship can bring incredible rewards. When we actively choose to prioritize our partner and put in the work, we build a foundation of love and trust that can weather any storm. Remember, marriage is a verb. And it’s up to us to make it an extraordinary one.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below! How do you work hard in your marriage? What rewards have you noticed?

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About the Author

Melissa is a wife of 8 years and mother to 2 young kiddos. She has a passion for helping couples prioritize and strengthen their marriage after having kids. She knows firsthand how difficult it can be to connect with your spouse when you have little people running around, demanding all of your attention.

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