Interview with a Romance Coach: How Romance Can Help Your Marriage

I interviewed Josie from Romance Enhanced to find out how she helps married couples connect through romance. We had an amazing conversation about the misconceptions around romance, the benefits of romance, and more! See the interview below.

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When you Google romance coach, terms like relationship coach and love coach also come up. How is a romance coach different from those?

As a Romance Coach, my main focus is on helping couples make romance easy. I do touch on lots of subjects such as relationship coaching, love, intimacy, love languages, dating and how to connect more and bring the spark back into your marriage again. But my niche is more all about Romance!

How did you get started with romance coaching?

Being romantic has always been one of my hobbies, weird I know! It is not what most people list as a hobby, but I have always loved to help other people look and be romantic, even if they are not!

I have always been a hopeless romantic and love planning out romantic dates for my husband and for friends and family as well. Even as a young girl, I would help my dad with romantic surprises for my mom. I even made my dad jump out of a box with roses to surprise her once!

One day, my unromantic husband said to me, “You are so creative and great with coming up with these romantic ideas. If I could pay someone like you to make me look romantic, I totally would!” And that is where my business idea got started. I knew I could be that person and would enjoy doing it.

Being romantic does not come natural to everybody, so I want to share my ideas and tips with others to make them look romantic as well!

Have you always wanted to help married couples?

No, actually! It was not on my radar for a long time (even though relationship books and such have always been interesting to me). I have always found joy in serving and helping others, however my other career fields were actually working with kids and the elderly. I never imagined helping couples with romance or let alone intimacy.

The truth is though that bringing in more romance and being intentional was a huge game changer for my marriage and I know it can be for others in their marriages as well! I remember feeling discouraged and even a little disappointed with wanting more romance and excitement in our marriage. We were still very much in love, but sometimes our marriage felt a little boring. So I decided to do what I could do and I started to be intentional about creating more fun and romance in our marriage. I do feel like I was called to this position and feel like I can be a bridge in helping couples!

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Do you think there are certain phases in a couples life together that make it harder to be romantic (new baby, kids growing up, teenage years, empty nest, etc.)?

Yes to all the above! All of these phases are hard in their own right, but that does not mean it is impossible to bring more romance back in any phase! However, we can all use excuses for any stage that we are in our marriage (We don’t have time, It is to expensive, I don’t know how to be romantic). I am not trying to sound insensitive because I know all these things do make it difficult. But we do need to prioritize what is important.

What is the most rewarding part of being a romance coach?

As I started doing this, I found that it brought me great satisfaction and joy, to help make a difference in married couple’s lives. Plus, I get to do something I love doing all the time!

How do you think more romance can help a marriage?

I went through a loveless marriage so I know firsthand how it makes a marriage and person feel when all the little things get neglected.

Here are the benefits of having more romance in a marriage (along with so many other things):

1. It helps you to fall in love again
2. It helps couples (and women especially) to feel wonderful, special, and needed
3. Having more romance and connection is what most females and wives crave in their relationships and marriages
4. It helps you to appreciate one another again
5. It helps re-ignite and keep the spark alive in your relationship
6. It brings the passion and fun back into your relationship
7. You are showing your sweetheart in different ways how much they mean to you
8. It helps you reconnect in ways that you had forgotten about

What are your hobbies?

Planning romantic dates and getaways! I also love hiking, traveling, swimming, and being with my kids and family.

What is your favorite way to be romantic with your husband?

I love planning an intimate romantic night for us! In fact, that is where my couple’s bedrooms games have stemmed from: me planning a special romantic date for my husband and I! My husband is a good sport and will go along with almost anything, especially if he does not have to plan it. He secretly is probably really glad when I plan romantic dates for other couples because I always have some romantic scheme up my sleeves for us in the works.

What are the biggest misconceptions about romance?

That romance is time consuming, has to be elaborate, and unobtainable. Now, it can be all these things. But it does not have to be! If you think back to when you were dating, you did romantic things or you did sweet things to impress or please one another. So start doing some of those things now in any stage you are in. If you think of romance like that, then anyone can be romantic in any stage of life!

Romance does not have to be time consuming, elaborate or expensive. It can be very simple and sweet, such as picking up something you know your sweetheart loves, writing a sweet note, cooking their favorite thing, or spending time together. I love to help people understand that intentionally speaking their spouse’s love language is being romantic. Choosing to do the little things that you know your sweetheart loves is being romantic.

What is your most popular product and why?

The Night of Massage Game. It is probably the most familiar thing to most people, plus who doesn’t love to be pampered and spoiled with massages?

What is your favorite product and why?

That is hard one. I created all of them so it is kind of like asking you to pick a favorite kid. But I would probably say the Kiss & Tell Game because I LOOOVE kissing.

This game is like charades, but you have to try and guess what your sweetheart is saying through just their kisses.

In your experience, who has a harder time being romantic: men or women?

Definitely men. In my experience being in the romance business, I have a lot of women reaching out to me asking me to help their husband be more romantic. It’s not the case all the time. I know that it goes both ways as well. But in my experience, I have found that men have a harder time. My theory is that, in general, women are more focused on connection and the creative side of things. Women tend to focus on the romantic details of things, such as the music playing or the atmosphere. Men like to focus their attention on only one thing. That’s definitely the case with my husband. Plus, women want and crave romance more than men.

Why do people find it hard to be romantic?

I think they are stuck in the mindset that it has to be and look a certain way or that they are just not the creative/romantic type. However, I love disproving this in my online course. Easily be more romantic, even if you are not the romantic type, where I literally walk you through easy steps that anyone can do on how to be romantic.

People also don’t feel like they have the time for romance. But that is where I also come in as well with my done for you romantic kits, and gifts.

Walk me through a coaching session.

Here are some examples:

I had a husband come to me wanting to do something special for his wife’s birthday, but did not know what to do. He had planned a surprise getaway to a hotel, but wanted something really romantic when they got there. I guided him to one of my favorite bedroom games that I designed to help women really enjoy intimacy as well. It is called The Sexy Wife May I Bedroom Game. This game completely spoils the wife and also focuses on the female sexual response of slow to warm up! It also has lots of physical and emotional ways to connect with your spouse. Emotional connection is what most women crave with intimacy. The husband later wrote to tell me that because of the game that he bought, his wife had said that she had the best birthday that she had ever had! She also said she felt more in love and connected to her husband in ways that had been missing in their relationship for a long time.

I also helped a poor couple plan a surprise anniversary date for the husband, on very little of a budget. She confided in me that she wanted to do something very special for her husband for their anniversary, but she had two problems: (1) she had no idea what to do and (2) they were college poor. Through talking with her, I discovered that one of her husband’s love languages was quality time. I then helped her plan and implement a romantic scavenger hunt for her sweetheart of all the places that were important to them while dating such as the first place they met, and kissed and so forth. I also instructed her to show him love through his love language all throughout the day! They said it was such a special and romantic evening together and felt their love was renewed.

I also helped a couple that had felt like they had grown distant from one another in their 15 years of marriage. I helped the husband plan out a surprise romantic getaway for his wife. On the way to the romantic getaway, I had them play games that would help them reminisce about all the good times they have shared together. I also had some great conversation starters that they were able to discuss and work through some of their issues in a non-confrontational way. I suggested several ways for the husband to show his love to his wife in her love language, as well as simple and romantic things to do to spice up their trip. They both loved the trip and felt like they were able to reconnect again and felt happy in their marriage once again!

Is there anything else you’d like our readers to know?

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